How Can I Make Sex Less Painful After Giving Birth?
Tips from a pelvic floor physical therapist and mom of 2.
The waiting game is finally over and your sweet baby is here at last, now what? First and foremost, it is important to remember that your body goes through immense changes physically, mentally, and emotionally as you navigate pregnancy, postpartum, and far beyond. Be patient and kind to yourself.
The standard six-week postpartum check-up and clearance by your provider is only the tip of the iceberg in your healing journey. A LOT has gone on down there - between the hormonal changes and physical demands that occur during pregnancy, to the experience of labor and delivery that involves one, if not both, of the following: your cervix dilating to the size of a cantaloupe melon with subsequent tearing or injury via a vaginal birth, or a major abdominal surgery via a cesarean birth.
Rightfully so, sex after giving birth may be different, scary and even painful. Rest assured, you are not alone in your feelings surrounding postpartum sex.
The following two tips may help reduce painful sex and empower you to feel confident in your postpartum body.
Use a recommended lube during sex
Perform a pre-sex warm up routine
Continue on for details.
Purpose of Lubrication
Lube can be a great addition to sex to increase pleasure, decrease vaginal dryness and decrease pain. The hormonal changes during pregnancy, after delivery and while breastfeeding can make everything a little drier, even if you are ready to go otherwise. Vaginal dryness can often be a major contributor to painful sex, so using a safe and trusted lube can reduce pain by decreasing dryness and tissue irritation.
Lube should not have parabens, glycerin, petroleum or fragrance. They should not cause burning or discomfort. If it sparkles, tingles, warms, or smells, stay away! The following recommended lubricants are made with natural and organic ingredients and are formulated to match the pH of your vagina to eliminate irritation. The different types include:
Water-Soluble Lubricant
Silicone Lubricant
Oil-Based Lubricant
Water-Soluble Lubricant
Pros
Organic, pH-balanced, unscented
Often made with aloe vera, a naturally hydrating ingredient
Ideal for sensitive tissues
Safe for use during pregnancy and with latex (condom safe) or silicone
Water-soluble lubes dissolve, which minimizes the risk of infection
Cons
Not as long-lasting as silicone or oil-based lubes
May need to reapply during longer sessions
Recommended Products (linked)
Silicone Lubricant
Pros
Lasts significantly longer than water-soluble lube to minimize friction and maximize glide
Typically no reapplication required
Safe for use with latex (condom safe)
Cons
Cannot be used with silicone toys, as it can break down the material
Recommended Products (linked)
Oil-Based Lubricant
Pros
All-natural option to minimize friction and maximize glide
Can also use regularly outside of sexual activity to decrease vaginal dryness
Cons
Cannot be used with latex condoms, as they are at risk of tearing and becoming ineffective
Recommended Products
Organic Coconut Oil
Pre-Sex Warm Up
Dedicate a few minutes prior to having sex to relax and lengthen your pelvic floor, tune into your breath and release any tension throughout your body. It is not only important to be physically at ease, but also mentally calm and focused on slow and controlled breathing patterns. Use the following six movements to prepare your body, relax your mind and be ready to go for sex.
Diaphragmatic Breathing
Deep Squat
Happy Baby
Adductor Rock Backs
All Fours Pelvic Circles, Cat/Cows
Full Body Tension Scan and Release
One final note.
Painful sex after giving. birth is very common, you are not alone. It can be extremely frustrating and isolating. At Materra Method, we are here for you every step of your motherhood journey and have resources available so you never feel alone. Our specialized Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist, Dr. Colleen Lind, is a valuable resource to our community and is another way Materra Method is MADE for moms, not just modified.
If you’re already an app member you can ask her questions here in our “Ask a Pelvic Floor PT Forum”.
If you have thoughts or questions I’d love to hear from you in the comments! If you’re interested in learning more about our app you can do so here!